Why I go out

I think most of you know I go out to bar/clubs for dancing. But a lot of people would say that. Yet what some mean by that and what I mean by that are quite different and sometimes what I am looking for is quite different.

Lots of people go out to the clubs for dancing and I am very grateful for that because you all add to my expirience. But for many people dancing is just one part of what they are going out for. Most people also want to have a few drinks, so what the bar has to offer in a glass is important to them. Often they are either going out with friends or hoping to make some new friends while they are out. I am sure there are many other reasons people end up at dance clubs.

For me it is very simple, and can be summed up in one word, “dancing”. I love seeing friends, or meeting new ones at the club, but that is not my goal. I occationally have a drink (about once a month), but drinking is not at all my goal. I have had some really fun times grinding with a pretty lady, but that is not my goal either.

My goal is simply to dance, for hours. To let the music and experience envelop me into ecstacy. But I have learned that it isn’t that simple. I can’t just go to any dance club and experience that. It turns out there are a lot of elements that go into making the right mix for a fantastic night.

So every week I look over the social post for the clubs to decide which one I am going to go to. The following are the things that seem to make the biggest impact on my night. For some clubs these things are rather static, for others they vary from night to night.

This tends to be consistent for any given club. Some clubs are focused on events. Some clubs are focused on the drinks. Some are focused on other things. Obviously I only consider clubs that are focused on dancing. Just having a dance floor, or a DJ isn’t good enough for me. I have been to a number of such clubs. If the focus is on their events or whatever else, the dancing experience isn’t that good. I think that is partly because people are mostly coming there for whatever the focus is, dancing is kinda an after thought if it happens at all. Often in these situation the dancing is interrupted by whatever the focus is. I want to dance for hours, not a few minutes and then wait for an event to get over.

Dance Floor
This some what goes along with the focus in that if they are focused on dancing they usually have a great dance floor. But there are clubs with a good dance floor but for which the focus is otherwise. Here I am referring mainly to the physcial elements of the dance floor. How smooth is it? I can dance on a ruff surface but smooth ones are a lot more fun. it Is a passage to something else? I have been to a number of clubs where people have to go through the “dance floor” to get to something else, like the bathrooms or the bar. This often makes for a horrible dance experience as you are constantly interrupted by people who just want to get to the other side. I’m sure there are other things to be said here, but I think those are the main consideration I think about.

DJ & Music
This is an area I commonly look at quite a bit. I kind of “shop” around for DJs. I follow all of my favorite DJs on IG and check out new ones on SoundCloud. Unfortunately this isn’t a foolpoof process. Event the best DJs vary their style and set some what. I have picked a club that had a DJ I knew I liked just to find that was the night they decided to try something new that I didn’t care for. I have also learned that it isn’t good enogh for them to simply play songs I like, how they play them if anything is more important than what they play. I expect DJs to be creative otherwise we might as well just have a jukebox. But some are so creative the song doesn’t flow and you can’t dance to it. Needless to say I try to avoid these.

Vibe of Crowd
This is something I strongly consider when I am trying to decide where to go. Most clubs have enough regulars to have a fairly consistent vibe. What kind of vibe I want varies from week to week, so I consider the clubs with the vibe I want. Some have more of a drunk party vibe, where others have more of a friends hanging out vibe. Some have a very energetic vibe while others are more of a mellow vibe.

This was a strange realization for me, most of the clubs I frequent are not “queer” clubs. They are all very queer friendly clubs, but most of them do not have anything about being gay or queer friendly in their advertisements. Yet I do run into plenty of other queer people at these clubs. But the clubs I do go to vary quite a bit here. At some there are a lot of very overt energetic queer people strutting their stuff. At others the queer-ness is more subduded. This is one of those things I consider as I am picking out the club I am going to go to, as how strong a queer experience I desire varies.

I have been to clubs where you are treated more like a piece of meat to be processed than a human being out to have a good time. Those are a one strike and your out for me. Fortunately I have found those rare, but how friendly the staff is does vary. Some seem to just treat you like a patron, but not much more. Then there are those where the staff treats you more like a friend. There are a number of clubs where the staff knows me by name and I get a very welcome reception when I show up. Obviously I prefer the friendlier clubs but do go to lesser so occationally.

Drinks (beer)
As I said I don’t drink too often so this is the last think I think about. In fact it isn’t a deciding factor at all. But once I have decided on what club I want to go to sometimes, if I think I might be in the mood for a beer, I consider does this club have any beers that I know I like. A no doesn’t change what club I”m going to, but it might change my plans of having a beer.

All this may sound complex but it really isn’t. A lot of it is consistent. I know the clubs that don’t focus on dancing, so I only consider them, on those rare occations when I am going out other than in the evening for dancing. I know the vibe of my favorite clubs, so that is really easy to figure out. In fact most of it is pretty consistent. The big thing that changes is the DJ and what events are or or not going on. Oh and then there is my mood, what do I feel like. But I can usually sort all of that out, spend a bit of time looking at social and pick my club for the night.