I had my last day at the office presenting as my assigned sex. The next time I am in the office I will be Jasmine, presenting female. But that last day wasn’t quite what I was expecting.
I don’t really know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. Obviously what I am really focused on is when I get back and am Jasmine 100%. But this was the end of an era in my life. It just seemed that somehow the end of an era should be special, or at least somewhat unique.
This day was quiet, boring and uneventful. Part of it I understand. Most of my coworkers were busy on various short term special projects, which I was involved in. Because of that, I was working by myself on my own project.
My solitude was reinforced by the fact that one of my favorite ladies to chat with was out of the office on emergency leave. Not to say there were not other wonderful women to chat with, but her not being in the office kind of left a void.
Then there was the fact that I was extremely tired. I hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in a number of days and by this point, it was all catching up to me. So I was kind of in a fog much of the day.
So between not as much female interaction as I normally get, working all by myself and not being that perky the day seemed odd.
It would have likely seemed odd no matter what day it was, but this being my last day made it just seem like something wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.
But maybe that is the point. I have been spending my whole life not the “way it was supposed to be”. It has been empty of the color and interaction I thirst for. It hasn’t been horrible, in fact often it has been quite good, but it still wasn’t the “way it was supposed to be”. I have been living a life that was lacking a key part of who I am, and that has come to an end.
Maybe this was the perfect last day.