The Complexity of Ordering

In the old days (i.e. when I was growing up in the 70’s)  things were simple.  If you wanted coffee there were two choices instant and drip.  Oh, there were percolators, but very few people had them.  If you were a nice host and serving your guest you might ask “cream or sugar”, but that was about as complicated as it got.

Then came along this sexy mermaid and the world has never been the same. She taught everyone that life wasn’t just binary.  It wasn’t just drip or instant, cream or sugar.  She swam into our lives with an ocean of options.

There are lattes and mochas, cappuccinos and Macchiatos and so much.  But the choice doesn’t end there.  You can have a Peppermint Mocha or a White Chocolate Mocha or one of the many other flavors.  But then you need to decide on the milk, no milk is not just milk.  There is whole, and 2% and 1% and soy milk and almond milk, who knew you could milk an almond. Then you need to decide how much coffee you want in your coffee, one shot, two, or more.  At last, you also need to decide on the size.

Of course all of that happened many years ago.  

I thought getting your coffee was the pinnacle of ordering complexity, but I was wrong

That mermaid has had many offspring which gives us even more choices.  But  I got used to it all.  I know I want a “quad vinte white chocolate mocha”.  All of that almost rolls off my tongue.  But now I am having to learn about a new complexity of ordering, jeans.

When I was growing up jeans were jeans.  There wasn’t even a choice of color, they were all blue.  Jeans were blue and ‘Blue Jeans’ were blue.  The hardest part was figuring out your size.  Of course, all of that was before I discovered I am a transgender woman and had to plunge into the ocean of options in female jeans.

Size seems to the simplest of all of the issues.  The first thing I learned was the waist.  There is a high waist and a low waist.  There was also regular waist, I guess that is for the people that are not high or depressed.  But you seem to also need to know what length you want, ankle, crew, or Capri.  But the hardest part is style.  It is the hardest because what is considered part of the “style” varies, depending on god only knows what.

Is it a skinny style you want or a slim style?  Which is skinnier, skinny or slim?  If you want to pretend you are back in the 70’s you have your choice of boot or flared, sorry they don’t call them bell bottoms anymore but one of those two should do.  

Of course you need to take into consideration the manufacturer.  A given brand might have boot, but not flared.  Or they might have both skinny and ultra skinny.  Some use simple numbers 1,2,3…12,13,14.  Others measure in inches.  Most only tell you the waist but others include the inseam.  

I am slowly figuring out what I like and what size works for me.  Like so many things in the transgender world, it has been quite the learning experience.  But learning is growing and growing is good.