I think for most people they don’t think about names much. But when you are trans there are two very important names; the one you were given at birth and your real name.
For me my real name, Jasmine-Arabella, is extremely special and important to me. I spent a long time considering different names and trying them on. I wanted a name that reflected me and I got that in Jasmine-Arabella.
Like most trans people I don’t care much for my birth name, most trans people refer to it as their ‘dead name’. That is because that name represent pain and bondage. When I heard that name it hurt it reminded me of the person I was forced to be the person I never was.
Because of that I would do my best to avoid that name. I got my name legally changed on all of my official documents unto that goal. When I would get, as I still do from time to time, mail in that name it would hurt. I didn’t want to see the name and I didn’t want to hear the name. It didn’t matter who it was in reference to. Even when someone was referring to someone else it hurt to hear it. But all of that has changed.
A few weeks ago I met a person who has become a friend. And as I have gotten to know him better I have found I so admire him. He is such a beautiful human being. He is always going out of his way to help and protect others. He has given more to me than I will every be able to give back. And he has the same name as I was given at birth.
Just by being the beautiful person he is he has redeemed that name for me. Now when I hear that name I no longer think of the bondage and pain I was forced to endure. I think of my friend and my heart is fill with joy.
Life is amazing, you never know who you are touching. Always strive to be your most authentic self. You may bless someone or help them out just by being YOU.
Jasmine, I am so happy for you that, not only you found your true name, but your old name got redeemed in such a wonderful way.
I understand the importance of a name and how the past attaches to an old name. I am still searching for mine. A friend of mine once told me that her true name suddenly came to her while she was driving, and she cried the rest of her way. I also heard about an African tribe in which a new born baby’s name will come as a song to their mother. Until the mother receive their song the baby doesn’t have a name.
I don’t need a whole song, but hopefully I find mine someday 😉