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Only the tip of the iceberg

A little over a month ago I got the court order to have my name and gender legally changed. I was so very excited. I had waited for months to be able to do this. I had spent hours and hours preparing. But little did I realize that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Armed with my fully legal certified court order I was ready to take on the world. First I presented my court order to my employer. But was quickly told I also needed my social security card updated before anything would change. I was so frustrated and depresssed.

As you know if you read my last post I was finally so stressed out about seeing my birth name everywhere at work that I contacted some people who I had hoped could help. They did help and I was able to get that fixed. After they stepped in it was only a matter of a few days before my name was correct everywhere.

About this same time I tried to get one of my credit cards updated. They were very nice about it. I was told to upload my court order and then they would send me a new credit card. So I did that, but the time for the new credit card came and went, but no new credit card. I gave them a bit more time, hoping it was just running late. When it still didn’t show up I called them. After a bit of talking and explaining I found out they had updated my name but forgot to put in the request for the new card. So I had to do that and ended up getting it several weeks later then I was originally expecting it.

But that was an online only bank, surely a local bank where I could talk face to face would be different. Well it was different, but not in the way I wanted.

This was a few weeks ago and the last time I had checked their website this bank was still open to the public. But the day I finally had time to go over there they were closed. Not only were they closed there was no way to contact them. Just a sign on the door saying you had to use the drive through. Getting you name changed isn’t exactly a drive through operation.

But not having any other option I got in line at the drive through hoping I could explain and they would let me in. No such luck. When I finally got up to the teller, she told me I would have to call this phone number and make an appointment.

After dialing a number of times and getting dropped I finally got a hold of a real live human being. They were nice enough but they were not sure what the process was for a name change. At one point they said my court order would be sufficient then later they decided it wasn’t enough. After multiple calls and explaining what I wanted to do multiple times we finally agreed on the required documents.

Now I just had to wait till my appointed time to be allowed into the building. When that day came I made sure to be prompt and brought everything they requested and then some. The lady that helped me was very nice and after about an hour it was finally done. Well mostly.

The next day I had to call her back because there was an issue with my online account. And I am still waiting for them to mail me my new credit card.

Since then I have also tried to get my name updated at a couple of other financial institutions. ALL of them have been a pain. Some more so than others. I should say every time when I finally got down to face to face working with someone they were very nice about it. But the process has been such a mess.

And so I have learned that getting the court order was just the tip of the iceberg. I have come to assume every single place that I go to get my name updated is going to be a pain with multiple conversations and explanations etc. And they all have one prerequisite or another, if not multiple prerequisites. This is going to be a long slow process.

But I now have several of my banks updated, so I can purchase things with a credit card that has my name on it. I have most of my medical stuff updated, so I don’t have to explain to the receptionist who I am. And I will slowly work on getting the rest updated.