My Happy Thought

Many of you just see me as the Dancing Queen. In those times I am so full of energy and life. Yet there are other times when life for me isn’t so perfect when I am not spinning in ecstasy at the music. Like everyone I have those times when life is so very painful and it is hard to make sense of it all.

In those times I recall my happy thought. My happy thought, that which gets me through a lot of pain and hard times is quite simple yet so infinitely deep,
“Jasmine-Arabella gets to live”

You see when you have lived for decades not being allowed to be you, having to bottle it all up. Bottle it up so deep that you don’t even know who you are. Being you, being your authentic self is so amazing, so beautiful, so nearly beyond life itself. So those few words are so deep for me.

Some days are very hard and painful. I cry a lot on those days. Some days are long and boring. Tipically those are the days I am stuck at home all day without time to get out with friends. Some days are just not quite right. Nothing really wrong, but for some unknown reason the day seems empty.

But in all of those lesser days, I am me, Jasmine-Arabella. So when life is painful and I cry so very hard, when I question things and wonder if it is worth it all. In those times I remeind myself “Jasmine-Arabella gets to live”. And in that I realize even with all of the pain it is worth it, it is so very worth it.

If you have been lucky enought to be able to have always been your authetic self, maybe this doesn’t make much sense. We rarely value that which we have always had and never worried about loosing. But if you have even had to hide parts of yourself at times maybe you can understand from that perspective.

If you always had to dress up for work, but in your heart you are a jeans & T-shirt gal. Or you felt you had to act all macho around your buddies to impress them, but you are not really that arrogent inside. Then you know just a bit of what it is like having to put on a fasade becuse something outside of you says you need to be different than the real you.

Pretending to be someone else becasue you are in a play or just being silly is great fun, but being forced to to hide yourself is quite the opposite. If you are still having to hide your true self my heart goes out for you and I pray that will soon end. If you are lucky enough to have always been able to be authenticl please don’t take it for granted. It is such a great blessing, it makes it all worth it, it makes life shine brighter than the greatest star.