Did you always know about this?

 NO.  I always knew I was different.  Even at a very young age I knew I was different.  I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I knew some people would not accept it. Because of that I did my best to hide it, and try to fit in. I hid it so deep not even I knew about it. Occasionally things would happen that would remind me of this deep secret, but I would do my best to ignore them.  So I have gone through my whole life up til now only knowing I was very different but not knowing what that meant.